Numb

When I was younger, I hated to show any kind of emotion. I don't know how I got this way, but I always believed emotion was weakness. I didn't want people to know how I was feeling, or even if I was feeling. And in a lot of ways, I am the same today.  I struggle a lot to even figure out what my feelings are on a situation or event, because I guess people could say I'm not "in touch with my own emotions." I just remember always thinking crying was bad, and that being angry was pointless. To some degree, I guess I still hold these views. But I've realized now that in purging myself of negative emotions, I sometimes lose grip on the positive ones. It's hard for me to let that guard down, because now I do it subconsciously, and then I just feel numb to everything.