Roadtrip

This was made in August of '09, when I went on a camping trip with some friends of mine.  I love road trips. We drove "Up North" as we Michiganders like to call it, to a camp site. We got to kayaking, tubing, and made food over a fire. It was a fun time. But the whole way there and back in the car, I remember seeing all these signs and thinking I wonder who came up with all of them. Who is in charge of designing the signs that dictate the behavior of traffic?

Numb

When I was younger, I hated to show any kind of emotion. I don't know how I got this way, but I always believed emotion was weakness. I didn't want people to know how I was feeling, or even if I was feeling. And in a lot of ways, I am the same today.  I struggle a lot to even figure out what my feelings are on a situation or event, because I guess people could say I'm not "in touch with my own emotions." I just remember always thinking crying was bad, and that being angry was pointless. To some degree, I guess I still hold these views. But I've realized now that in purging myself of negative emotions, I sometimes lose grip on the positive ones. It's hard for me to let that guard down, because now I do it subconsciously, and then I just feel numb to everything.

Love Wins

I sketched and painted this yesterday. I've been wanting to make something about gay marriage/civil unions for a while. I think it's funny how there have been scandals with politicians who are against gay marriage/civil unions getting caught in homosexual acts. It makes me angry that love can be anyone's business. So I guess this is kinda making fun of those hypocritical politicians, and saying that love wins :)

Ignorance is Easy

I made this in 2010, sometime around November I think. At the time, I was really getting annoyed with the amount of ignorance people have about racial groups. The definition of ignorance is to not have knowledge about something, knowing this fact, and refusing to learn about it. Naviety is to not have knowledge about something, and not know that you do not have the knowledge. Educate yourself. Do not make statements based on what you think or have heard. Make them based on experience. Step outside your comfort zone. Feel outnumbered. Learn.

Through My Eyes

I spent most of yesterday messing around with video clips I had of my friends and I. Just wanted to show how life had been for me sophomore year. Plus, I really wanted to use the song "Vagabond" by Wolfmother sometime in a video, and it fit perfectly with what I wanted to do. It's not really supposed to be anything special, I guess I just wanted to show how special life is. My first video posting:

Jeux d'enfants

I finally found one of my sketchbooks from '09. I drew this sketch at the beginning of '09 I believe. It's a scene from the film "Jeux d'enfants," one of my favorite movies. It's a French film about two crazy people who play a game their whole lives, and yet never say anything about how they feel. I used a line from the male lead towards the end of the film. It's one of my favorite lines. Seriously, it might sound like a stupid film, but it is really good. Really crazy, but good.

Russian Roulette

I wrote the poem "Russian Roulette" April 25th, 2010. It was about a person who was playing way too many games, and making everything so much harder than it needed to be. I hate having to always struggle for power in a relationship, I hate feeling like everything is a game. I would rather someone just tell me how they feel than have to constantly debate to myself whether I want to risk my own feelings. Anyways, I found this poem a couple days ago, cut it up, and painted. This was the result.

One

I sketched this around the summer of '08 I think.  I decided to paint it yesterday, and I think it looks way cooler now. There isn't really much explanation for this one. I think I really just wanted to capture that feeling of a concert, where you're just one with everyone else there...in love with the music. Wish the world was like that all the time.

Demon

Sorry for the hiatus, I had a busy couple of days. I painted this yesterday; it was a sketch I drew a couple of days ago. I think it represents anger well. As well as just being bad ass. I started it as just a kickass girl with a gun, but then I started painting and she became a demon. I thought of Supernatural as I was painting.

Shut Up.

Many people who know me know that I suffer from paranoia at times. It gets especially bad at night, when I'm alone. It's ridiculous how many voices I feel like I have going in my head, saying different things, and making me worry about various implausible scenarios. I made this in September of '08 one night, when I wished they would all just shut up. I really wanted to sleep. So I gave voices to these thoughts and immediately told them to just listen to me.

Life is Beautiful.

I made this last week at a friend's house. I wanted to just show growth and life, I guess. Sometimes we forget how beautiful everything is about the fact we are given life. Just taking time to appreciate.

Hands Held High

This is from my sketchbook in '08. Not really a sketch, but I was really inspired by the words in Linkin Parks' "Hands Held High," which spotlighted the need for people to speak up and not be afraid.  Religion can be a source of hope, faith, and strength to speak. It also talks about religion and violence, and how both are connected. This is another song I recommend you check out.

Euphoria

( Sketch - August 26, 2008)Have you ever had that moment where you are out in nature and the breeze brushes against your skin...and you feel like everything is perfect? You're just glad to be alive in such an amazing place. It's this happy, calm feeling that I call euphoria.

A City.

I wrote the poem "A City" on March 12 of this year. I did the sketch in 2008, but I thought it really matched the poem, so I cut the poem and taped it on to the sketch. Mostly the poem is about being away from home, and not wanting to be, but also knowing that you don't want to go home either. It's one of my insomniac poems, written late at night when I felt like I belonged somewhere else.

Magic's in the Makeup

This is my first modern sketchbook post. I made this yesterday. I was listening to No Doubt's "Magic's In the Makeup" and could really relate to it. I may seem tough, but I think we all have our own self image problems... Usually I'm the type to act like I don't got any. But alas, I'm human too. If you haven't heard the song, I really suggest you do :)

Lifetime.

My post somehow got deleted... so I'm putting this back up. I made this on May 9, 2008. I was thinking about how the word "love" is thrown around. It was my opinion on society's view of love.

Where Am I?

The date on this one is January 1, 2008. I think I was feeling stressed out by the prospect of a new year, with new expectations. Possibly I felt there was many different people wanting something from me, or wanted me to be something I wasn't. I wrote a lot of random thoughts in my head at the time, some of which make sense to me, others don't.

Speak Up.

According to my sketchbook, this was made sometime in January '08. It was around the assassination of Benazir Bhutto... Guess I had political figures on the mind.

Hello, Hello....

I was going to vlog it, but realized that could get very boring after a while. Instead, I'm keeping my options open. Here, I shall embark on explaining the contents of my brain. I will be constantly changing the background with more of my sketches/drawings. I want to share everything---drawings,paintings, poems, thoughts, stories, videos...No stone left unturned. This could get very personal in a very abstract way...Oh well, here we go.