Change

So here's something in my sketchbook that I worked on last week. It's a painting of Dan Dunne, a character from the film "Half Nelson," which is one of my favorites. The film is about a middle school teacher who is addicted to coke, and one of his students becomes caught up in dealing it. It's a odd movie because of the father-like role the main character plays to the student, yet accepts coke from her also. It was written and directed by Ryan Fleck. It's yet another movie I recommend you see. But with the painting I added one of my favorite lines from the film.

Video Projects

So this isn't really film directly from the creative side of my cranium, but I've been so busy lately I really haven't had the time to paint or sketch or look through my sketchbooks to put something up. Also, I do not have my scanner with me right now. So here's two of my film projects for my journalism class.

Okay?

So I wrote this on June 1st, 2011. I have a very complicated relationship with someone who's very important to me. A lot of people who are close to me can probably guess who it is about, but I'm not about to disclose that. This person has some social problems, and I try my best to help them when I can. But I also try to live my own life and do my thing, which sometimes upsets this person and makes them think I don't care about them. Sometimes this person tells me I'm a bad person and that I only care about myself.... It's just bad sometimes, and it's hard to tell whether what they are saying is true or not. Anyways, it's a poem.

Azmi

So I decided to post one of my life style sketches. I did this earlier last week, while I was kinda on a life style rampage. I started looking at friends' facebook pictures and trying to sketch them. Anyway, one of my friends, Azmi was bugging me about drawing him riding on a horse like some freakin' Clint Eastwood movie... so I just thought I would try sketching him first to see if I could get the image right. I'm not sure... I can't decide whether I got it right or not. I seem to be caught between the cartoon and life style on this one. Either way, hopefully Azmi doesn't mind that I posted this (hey Az, let me know what you think lol)

Says It All

Lately I find more comfort in silence with people than with all the talking. It's nice to just sit and occasionally say a few words with a person, and not feel like you're having the same conversations over and over again. I find myself wanting more alone time, without so much hustle and bustle and constant noise. I drew this using characters from Hot Gimmick, a manga I used to read back in the day. (I told you, I've been revisiting my comic/manga phase a bit) I've been trying to gain confidence in using pens with my sketches more.

Johnny "Nny" C.

So I went through a life style sketching phase for half of last week, and then I switched over to graphic novel style. I started revisiting some of my old favorite comics....one of which, is "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" by Jhonen Vasquez. I don't know if any of you out there have read this comic, but I myself feel that it was little inappropriate for my age at the time I was reading it (13, to be exact). It's about this guy who is mentally ill and murders people and paints this one wall of his house with their blood to stop the "impending negative energy" from getting out and destroying everything. It's actually really funny now that I've been reading over some of the issues, and I get the humor a lot more than I did back then. I especially love the scenes with Johnny and Squee. But my favorite issue was #6, where Johnny kills himself and goes to hell and heaven, then finds himself back in earth, unsure whether he really died at all. Anyways, I really like Vasquez's style, reminds me of Tim Burton's stop motion animations. Vasquez writes "Z?" all over his comics in reference to insomniacs and to "question sleep." I wrote down some of my favorite lines from issue #6 of JtHM.

Ren Honjo

Guess what? Another manga sketch from the '05 sketchbook, from the series "Nana."  This character is Ren Honjo, who I personally loved as a character. SPOILER ALERT:He eventually dies later on in the series after a drug addiction causes him to get into a car accident. But I really liked his character because he was so incredibly flawed...yet he was also incredibly like-able. He was less of a character and more of a person. Most of the characters in "Nana" had back stories that explained how they got to be the person they were. It was one of the reasons why I read the series so religiously for a while there. But anyways, I drew Ren doing what he did best: playing bass and smoking his cigarettes.

On a Broken String

I made this Sunday, while I was listening to "Ballon on a Broken String" by The Boy Least Likely To.  The lyrics are from the song, and the painting was inspired by it. It's just one of many songs that I can relate to. The painting actually reminds me of my childhood room, which had a balloon theme until I was 13 years old.

Han Chae Young

Many people who know me know that I have an addiction. It's kind of been a secret that's starting to spill out. I'm not sure people know how long I've had this addiction. But here it goes... I'm addicted to Korean Dramas. Yes. I know. WTF? Korean Dramas? How does that even happen? Cue shot of 13 year-old me, channel surfing, and stopping on AZN, the Asian channel, where the Korean drama "Ruler of Your Own World" was playing every day after school. (Yeah, I still remember the name of the Korean drama that gateway entered me into the world of kdramas) Anyways, this is a sketch I made in '08 of Korean Actress Han Chae Young while I was watching her Korean drama "Only You." Yeah, lame title for a show, I know. I was honestly addicted to it at the time.

Live Loud

This is a sketch I made at the very end of '07. "Live Loud" has always been one of my life philosophies. Kinda just mean do what you want, go against the grain, leave a mark... that kind of idea. Made with my colored pencils, markers and a couple color pens. I really hate this guy's nose though, always bothers me when I look at it.

Deryck

Another sketch from the '05 sketchbook. Guess I'm feeling nostalgic. Back then I didn't really date my sketches all the time, so I have no idea when in '05 this was made, but I know it is from that year. As I've stated in previous posts, the sketchbook is mostly filled with either comic book, anime & manga characters or Sum41 band members. So here's one of my Sum41 band member sketches. It's supposed to be Deryck Whibley. I don't know if I would agree I captured him, but I guess it was a learning process.

Club Normal

I did this a couple days ago, finished painting and gluing everything yesterday. Mostly about having to wait for me to enjoy normal things. Life's bouncer is just not letting me in. I used some candy wrappers for the line poles. I think they turned out pretty cool. I used construction paper for the line rope. I wanted to make it cartoon-ish, with my real pictures chillin' out of place. Because they are not from that world. Symbolism? Who knew I was deep, right?

Against Me

Started this yesterday. I guess we all feel like everyone's against us at some point. The lyrics are from "Fly" by Nicki Minaj. I've been doing a lot of thinking about all the people I haven't seen in a while, and I get defensive about it to myself and to them. I have this way of always trying to see the good in people, but lately I just see nothing. Been doing some really crazy stuff lately in my sketchbook...not sure what to put up and what not to. I guess we'll just have to wait it out and see if I want to put them up or not.

Underneath

Just another manga sketch from my '05 sketchbook. Not really anything special. I think I based this off of a character from a manga series called Kill Me, Kiss Me. But I'm not sure. 8th grade was a long time ago, not sure I remember drawing half of the sketches in this sketchbook. I really like the detail I point into the wrinkles on this one. Wrinkles on clothes fascinate me, because they are always on us, and it gives us an idea of who's really under them.

Ugly Wrinkles

This was made a month ago, right after I'd gotten out for the summer. This is a kind of difficult one for me to post. It's not exactly a poem, not exactly my thoughts either. I think metaphors were the best way I could describe the state I was in. The best I can explain it is that sometimes I wish I was normal. Maybe it's the paranoia, or just my own self hatred that everyone has... But it's the way I feel at times when I'm around a lot of people. Sometimes I feel like I'm different, and not in a good way.

Nana Osaki

I was debating about whether I wanted to put stuff up on here from '05, since that was such a long time ago. I was in 8th grade during the time most of these sketches/drawings were made. But I decided it's part of me, so I might as well include them. The majority of the stuff I did in my sketchbook in '05 has to do with anime, manga, and comic book characters or Sum41 band members. Yes, I used to have a weird obsession with all of those. I was kinda an odd kid, to be totally honest. But anyways, this sketch is of Nana Osaki from the manga series Nana. I really admired the character Nana Osaki because she lived her life on her own terms. She was a rockstar.

"Lucky" 13

This was made last Wednesday, after I'd watched the documentary Very Young Girls. This documentary really bothered me by its content. The subject matter was underage street prostitution. The average age of a prostitute on the street is 13. This bothers me so much because if that's the average, that means there are girls out there who are even younger than that. And the worst part about it is that more often than not these girls have been threatened, kidnapped, or have no where to hide from their pimp. So if they do get arrested, the police system charges them and when they get out, their pimp finds them and brings them back. Right now there is a new program within the FBI called the Innocence Lost National Initiative that is trying to hep target these pimps who force young girls to work for them.

Stranger

I made this about 3 weeks ago. It was from a memory of when I was waiting at the bus stop with another woman. I wanted to write down what my thoughts were at the time. Mostly, I felt a sort of kinship with her, because we were both just college girls trying to catch a bus. This painting was really done fast. I didn't sketch before hand, and I didn't have my many variations of paintbrushes that I did now. So the paint smudged a lot more than I wanted. So this is not my best work, but interesting, none the less.

Alexander Portman

I'm in the middle of working on a graphic novel. I've been throwing around the idea for it in my head for a while, and finally found some time to actually bringing it to life. I've got about three pages of done so far, so i got a lot more to go. But this is one of the character sketches. I was practicing drawing him from different views. This is one of my three main characters, Alexander Portman. Age: 23. Drug addict. Key to the apocalypse. Many people want to kill him.

Lonely Scene

I made this on Sunday. It's a scene from Blue Valentine, another film I'm a fan of. What I liked the best about this scene was the loneliness you can feel from it. Two people just got married, but somehow it's just lonely. The circumstances probably play a factor in that, but I suppose that's for someone who's seen the film to know. I'm a big Ryan Gosling fan, this isn't the only movie with him in it that I've drawn from.

Star

This was made in August of '08. It was originally a sketch, but a week ago I decided to paint it. I only noticed after I'd painted it that I'd given her too many fingers, assuming her thumbs are clutching her hood. I guess I'll just call this a creative mistake. I'll think of a reason later for it.